will it get easier?

Well they say its supposed to get easier with time to deal without joe being here but it doesnt. It seems to get harder. I hardly sleep and I feel sicker everyday.  :/ i wish it didnt suck so bad. Sometimes I just want to cry no stop. I haven't cried in a while but I always want to. I dont know how to deal with it and make myself feel better. Idk why I feel like this. I know he is fine. I know this is what's best for our family. I know everything but I just get worse everyday.  Why cant time go faster and it be time to move to base? I dont feel like it will ever let up. Like I will just get worse and worse as time goes on.  I know I need to be strong for Aubrey but its really hard sometimes.  I think its getting harder because I have not come to terms with the fact he isnt going to be home for a while.  It was easier to pretend like he isnt gone for so long and I could talk to him like he was just at work or the gym but not being able to talk to him at all is hard. Maybe I will get a letter soon. And that may help idk. I need something to figure out though