will it get easier?

Well they say its supposed to get easier with time to deal without joe being here but it doesnt. It seems to get harder. I hardly sleep and I feel sicker everyday.  :/ i wish it didnt suck so bad. Sometimes I just want to cry no stop. I haven't cried in a while but I always want to. I dont know how to deal with it and make myself feel better. Idk why I feel like this. I know he is fine. I know this is what's best for our family. I know everything but I just get worse everyday.  Why cant time go faster and it be time to move to base? I dont feel like it will ever let up. Like I will just get worse and worse as time goes on.  I know I need to be strong for Aubrey but its really hard sometimes.  I think its getting harder because I have not come to terms with the fact he isnt going to be home for a while.  It was easier to pretend like he isnt gone for so long and I could talk to him like he was just at work or the gym but not being able to talk to him at all is hard. Maybe I will get a letter soon. And that may help idk. I need something to figure out though

homeschooling

I need to vent about people's views on homeschooling. It has been driving me crazy lately. I will homeschool Aubrey. I am proud of that fact. It will be hard work for me but I feel I am the best person to teach her.

It's okay for me to teach her until she is 5 but not good enough to teach her other things? She is my daughter I know her best. How she learns, how she is, when she learns best, what she wants to learn. All things I know and not some random person who just met her. No, I don't think homeschooling is the best way for everyone. So why would you push that regular school is best for everyone. She is my kid I know her best.

You telling me I am stupid for homeschooling is not only making you look really rude but makes me even more determined to show you how awesome it is and how much she can actually learn with me. There isn't only one way for someone to learn. All kids need different things so why can't one succeed in school and one not?

I seriously hate the socialization argument. I want to punch people who say that. Kids make friends before age 5 and after age 18 how can they not do it between those ages? Do they suddenly become incapable of it? She will just get a head start on socialization with people not exclusively her age. Since when is only being able to socialize during school the only way to do it. When I was in school I got in trouble for talking but maybe that has changed since I was in school (3 years ago).

They can't learn with you at home. Since when is 32:1 better for learning than 1:1? I'm not really sure how that works but I forgot I'm stupid so I guess that's why it doesn't make sense. I get it homeschooling isn't for everyone but this is just my opinion. This is why I think it's best for my family it doesn't have to be best for yours but you don't have to bash me because of my choices. That's just it my choices. I do not bash you for sending your kids off to school. Even though I could that just isn't how I am. Let's just agree to disagree and stop the name calling. It's unnecessary and rude. So why do it? I guess it's my stupidity talking thinking people can be like that but again that's just me.

just left.

Well Joe just left for basic a week ago. It was really hard but I have 2 good friends that help me a lot. They mean so much to me. Being an army wife is something that is new to me growing up I never thought I would want that but it's something that I actually love the idea of now. It's hard to be away from him for me but also our daughter since she is such a daddy's girl. I honestly wouldn't change it if I could. It's got me thinking about what would happen if someone happened to Joe though. He is the supporter of our family. I have always wanted to be a teacher but because of a certain sister in law I have all that has changed. She has made me think and change all that I believed. I don't like the school system and all that you have to go through in it. I plan on unschooling Aubrey. That is so not anything like being a teacher. Lol my world view has changed for the better but now I have to figure out a new back up plan. It's a scary thing. I have to be the one to teach her everything and if she doesn't do well it's all on me. It's also wonderful because I get to know exactly what she learns how she learns and all that. I'm not really sure what I am getting to I'm just rambling at this point. Eventually I will learn to blog better but for now my rambling is over.